Musings

I’m all out of sugar

It’s 20 days until Christmas and 27 days until 2020 is behind us, but who’s counting?

I have become an avid coffee drinker since becoming a mother. I have also become an avid two-Splenda-in-my-coffee person over the course of the 7 years I’ve been a mom, (to those worried, I drank decaf while pregnant) so to be without (fake) sugar for my coffee is a big deal. There have been times when I’ve been almost out, but the grocery store run was soon approaching so I made due with just more creamer in my coffee and even a spoonful of real sugar on those splurge mornings.

If I was picking a coffee, I would gladly have any cup between 5 and 7.

To help the morning coffee process go smoothly I have been using a wooden bowl sitting proudly next to my coffee maker to hold the lovely yellow packets of sugar for my coffee. Rarely is it out, but on a recent morning it was and I was struck by the phrase “I’m all out of sugar”. That could mean any number of things to a variety of people, but for me it took on an interesting meaning this time.

Sugar is fun when it’s sprinkled on top of those homemade cookies being decorated for Santa’s arrival here in 3 weeks. Sugar is vital for fueling our brains (true story), and repeatedly sugar has been associated with being sweet; often innocent and being kind to people. In this consideration, having no sugar was equivalent to me not caring, not wanting to be kind or sweet to anyone, ie: I wanted to be a grouch and curmudgeonly. I was too tired and worn out to want to be sweet to anyone.

This year has been hard for many of us. Many of us have lost loved ones, too many have lost jobs, livelihoods, and a number of us have blocked or cut off friends and/or family due to political beliefs and our current political environment. Parents and caretakers of children have had to shift their work environments to remote while also trying to help keep their students (especially young ones) on task during their virtual school days. The added stressors of food insecurity, concern for the virus spreading (cause it’s worse than a wildfire right now and that’s NOT good), and general unease about going out among non-immediate family can stifle the sweetness we all have inside.

I’m not sure how to get the sweetness back and how to leave the grumpy, grouchy me behind. All I know is that this Christmas season I am trying to get the house to look overly-Christmasy and want to make more sweets and treats than I have in the past (buckeyes anyone?) and look forward to a new year with fresh eyes, outlook and a not too expanded waistline come January 2021.

Good question to focus on.

Daughter of the Most High God. Well cared for and appreciated wife of an amazing man. Female, Christian, mother of an adorable & imaginative son, sweet & feisty daughter and a furry house pony, type 1 diabetic, slightly geeky, married to a most wonderful man who treats me like a queen, youngest of three, created in the 80's, lover of Christ; history and languages, animal lover, outspoken, caring and just down right cool. ;-)

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